August 27, 2009

Afternoon Delight

For the love of God, kick the ball off already.

Random thoughts...trying to make the clock tick faster:
* Since Nebraska football is a complete and total non-factor, the new idea cup has pretty much dried up. Oh sure, if I wanted to, I could bash the Nebraska media’s instant love affair of freshman running back practice sensation Rex “Superman” Berkhead. I could add some further comments on the sudden, yet mysterious departure of former Heisman hopeful, now completely-worthless-by-Husker-fan-standards Quentin Castille. I could comment on how Tom Osborne is spending his days…fighting off the evils of red colored Bud light cans rather than things that matter. I could even comment on the extremely sad case of Thunder Collins…who took Husker thug life to a brand new…seemingly unprecedented level.

But in the end, does any of that really matter? I mean….I’ve spent literally YEARS telling you the buffoonery that goes on in Linocln. Oh sure, there are new stories and anecdotes from time to time…sometimes like this week in rapid fire success. But in the end, it’s simply sad essay on life…where hope is unrealistically raised…then…is smashed, leaving those former believers to ask, “why didn’t I see that coming.” They didn’t see it coming, because they refused to believe the truth. The truth is…only 1 team wins the National Championship. Only ONE team in the Big 12 will win in Arlington in December. And in the end, how you deal with defeat is a far greater challenge than how you handle yourself in victory.

That’s the trouble with Husker fans all along.

So I guess I’ll just sit back and wait for fans around here to answer reality’s call. They seem to have them on speed dial as of late.

* If you’re so desperate for football that you’re going to watch Northwest Mo State and Abeline Christian on CBS College Sports network tonight…you have issues. Look, I enjoy football as much as the next guy…but for the love of God people…have a little patience.

* Little League World Series: Still completely and totally unwatchable. If I wanted to watch pint-sized prima donnas fumble the ball and give up 900 foot home runs every other pitch…I’d turn on the Royals.

* Speaking of the Royals… I’ve had a lot of fun this summer with the Kansas City Royals. Not because I’m a lifelong fan and they’ve crashed and burned worse than any other Royals team in the last 20 years. (That’s hard to do). But now, thanks to the internet, I have a bevy of blogs and columns to read…many of which are written by writers who are trying to come to grips with again…reality. Now, it’s pretty sad to watch the Royals these days…and perhaps I’m numb to the pain. But reading Rany on the Royals and Joe Posnanski every day has allowed me to at least enjoy the suckage….at least more than normal seasons.

* Why doesn’t Kansas City have a hockey team yet? What the hell is taking so long?

* The season is 9 days away, which means it’s about time for Bob Stooops’ annual “Let’s take a nothing story and spin it as motivation” speech. You know it’s can set your watch by it.

* Is it just me…or is the world just a better place when Michigan, Notre Dame and Nebraska all suck? I’m not sure what it is…but the world somehow just feels right these days.

* Finally, if you’re a Missouri fan (and a lot of you I know are)…I would be doing you a disservice if I did not mention the ever growing problem of tailgating at Faurot Field on gamedays.

Now as many of you know, the 9th annual Tailgate of hate © is coming up fast, and as I’ve mentioned, yours truly will be delivering timely updates from the scene throughout the day. (Or until my drunk ass can no longer punch those little keys on my phone keyboard.) As a married guy, this is my one weekend a year, where I hang out with my friends and really let loose, all in the name of football, BBQ and oh yes…hatred. (In 2007 we had an actual stage with a guitar and live music, chronicling the passing Husker fans who just so happened to wander too close to our grills that day.) However, it’s becoming more and more clear that Missouri as an athletic department is simply having trouble handling success.

Look, I know success means sacrifice. Just as I know I can buy Chiefs tickets in the lower bowl for ½ face value today (where they were impossible to get 5 years ago) …I also know that the better Missouri does…the tougher things are in terms of cost and availability. This means tailgating spots as well…because for those of you who don’t know this….the atmosphere at Faurot on a BIG GAME Saturday, is extremely unique and something not to be missed. (Especially if you’ve been cursed since birth of rooting for God’s least favorite team)

But why am I penalized for the crimes of others? Why doesn’t the university recognize that tailgating…in a responsible manner…is part of what makes college football great. (A huge part if you’re in your 30’s such as myself.) Thanks to the internet, fans of a team are no longer local or from a city of two over. People come into town from all over, because the net has made it so much more easy to follow their favorite team. So why are these people held accountable for doing nothing more but being a casual fan?

I realize I could donate the the university , and that’s a valid point. Scholarship funds fuel the programs, and those who give the most should be given the most rights. But WHERE is anybody looking out for the casual fan? Nowhere, because the casual fan (and this goes for casual fans of every other school as well), doesn’t have a face. We are relegated to blogs and message board postings and on rare occasions…a phone call. Yet for some reason…we buy tickets and merchandise with the same US currency that students and donors use. The universities don’t care about casual fans because they don’t have to deal with casual fans on a regular basis.

Me personally, I went to two different small colleges, neither of which are associated to my favorite Division one team. (Which is also where I grew up and where I was born). I have two kids, a mortgage and all sorts of bills and such that I have to worry about. (It’s called being an adult) Because of that, it’s not exactly easy for me to drop $1000 so I can park one game a year and oh yeah, the gymnastics team gets a new bag of rosin to practice with.

Seriously, I don’t expect much. I don’t expect to be showered with perks and bonuses, because I didn’t earn them. However, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for the university to throw the rest of us a bone and give us a place to park and tailgate responsibly…even if it’s on the outer edge of the parking parameter. But don’t blow me off because I don’t shower the university with money. Rooting for a team like Missouri is hazardous enough…it shouldn’t be worse because the powers that be have determined you don’t count.

I’m off my soapbox for at least another year.


  1. First of all, His name is BURKHEAD not 'BERKHEAD', get used to it. Second, 27 schools had their team colors used by Anheuser, 25 of those schools asked them to stop. Leave TO out of your spins.
    No place to park, what will they do if Missouri actually becomes more than a two year wonder?
    What two "small" schools did you attend?

  2. Thanks for your comments on Chuck Birkhed

  3. It wouldn't matter if they had lots available to the public (and they do just not close, try the golf course). They're not opening lots until 4:30 because school is not being closed.

  4. I'm looking forward to this season's Doak Walker/Heisman Trophy winner, Bob Birdhead, playing in Boulder.

  5. "the atmosphere at Faurot on a BIG GAME Saturday, is extremely unique"

    Uhhh, yeah. Cue JoePa.

  6. Wanna go down this road Mike?

    I'd suggest not.

    F*ck JoePa

  7. Damn AJ I hope you can do better in the weeks ahead.

    As always,
    You can Eat A Mile........

  8. Must be getting closer to kick off because your blog is finally becoming more readable. Keep it coming AJ.

    Sooner Fan

  9. AJ

    There is a dog in my neighborhood that chases cars. I have wondered for a while what the dog would do if he ever caught one. Now I know. He would become Colonel Kurtz.

  10. Heh.

    My bad on not updating more often. I'm not happy with how this thing looks and I'm having trouble getting it fixed.

    Oh well....lucky it even exists at all I guess.