July 7, 2009

The 2009 Preview Begins - Baylor Bears

Man it’s good to be alive. Everything is green…it hasn’t gotten too hot yet, and the typical white hot pre-season delusionalism is in full swing. I’m not sure where you live, but in my neck of the woods, people are so confident of their team’s success in 2009, they’ve completely ignored such minute details as the fact that they are starting a dude that not only looks like Brian from High School Musical…but has a grand total of 2 career passes more than the girly little teenager who plays Brian in High School Musical.

What this signals is not just the complete and total disconnect from reality that we've discussed for years, but that we’ve reached the part of the off-season where the sidewalk literally ends. Yes, football is less than 60 days away…and yes…everybody excited for the best four month span of the year to start. But just as any other year…there reaches a point where simply nothing more can be said.

Because this is the blue-ribbon fark-free college football news source you can trust…we completely understand your plight. We understand you are looking for more than the same old “so and so will win so many games." We understand you can only take so many features on Colt McCoy or Bo Pelini’s phantom defense. No, we here at the Diary want to give you something you just won’t find anywhere else.

Where better to start than a preview of the Baylor Bears.


BAYLOR (4-8 in 2009)

I know what you’re saying….”Hey AJ, nobody gives a shit about Baylor.” This is probably true…including a vast majority of students actually residing in Waco, Texas. However…in case you didn’t notice, the Bears have a few quality players and a new found tenacity that hasn’t been there since…well ever. Oh sure, they finished 4-8 in 2008 and face one of the toughest schedules in the nation; but that doesn't stop them from taking the Big 12 media's crown as over-hyped pre-season media darlings.

POSTIVES for 2009
Robert Griffin might be the best dual threat quarterback in the Big 12 since the days of Senaca Wallace, Vince Young and Brad Smith. As a highly touted freshman, the guy only threw for 2,000 yards and rushed for 800 more; all the while having an offensive line in front of him hat wore green jersies and the words “Baylor” across the front. Although not exactly a snake pit on game day, Baylor produces some of the nicest fall Saturday weather anywhere in the Big 12. BONUS!!!

NEGATIVES for 2009
As good as Griffin is, he very little to throw to. Thomas White is gone…and sure Kendall Wright caught 50 passes last season. However, as Missouri and Iowa State found out during their dual threat QB years…a fleet footed QB may be dangerous and may even win a few games here or there..but without somebody to throw to…they can be contained very easily. Other negatives include the lack of a decent pass rush returning, a home field advantage that features the noise and electricity of an NAACP conference in Maine...as well as the fact that…well…they’re still Baylor.

THINGS YOU CAN COUNT ON IN 2009
I think we can all agree that it is very likely that on a random Saturday, Baylor will raise a few eyebrows and beat somebody they shouldn’t. Whether that’s Wake Forest in week one…Oklahoma State in Waco on October 24th. Or maybe even the impossible upset of pre-season #4 Texas in mid November. (Wouldn’t that be something.) However, we also know that the Bears will easily fall victim to their surroundings…wilting under the intensity of living at the bottom of college football’s best division. Expect swift and brutal beatings to destroy any and all confidence of a "sleeper" program looking to live up to the ridiculous expectations bestowed upon them by bored sportswriters and bloggers everywhere.

HISTORY TEACHES US….
The hill that Art Briles’ team faces is unlike any other in college football. Nowhere in division 1A does such a crappy program take on such gigantic challenges. However, with that being said, Baylor fans (if they had any) would take comfort that at the very least, their destiny lies with small battles rather than the larger war. There is no way in hell Baylor will compete for the South, nor will they likely ever in any of our lifetimes. However, with Robert Griffin driving the bus…that small chance remains of pulling the upset and sending some other team’s season into the tank. Whether it’s OSU, Nebraska or even Texas…a loss to Baylor would be as big of a PR hit as there is. Do I think it will happen? We’ll see…but the Bears have been close before, with far less talent. We shall see.

SCHEDULE HIGHLIGHTS
Congratulations…you’re a Division 1 head football coach. Now go play 5 pre-season ranked teams and sprinkle in two good-but-not-great teams from the east in your non-conference season. Hell, even Kent State on October 3rd is no gimmie. Does any team deserve a brutal stretch final 6 games as the Bears? First a game against a top-flight Oklahoma State team, followed by a predictable and restful home win against Nebraska. Then four straight at Missouri, vs. Texas, at Texas A&M and vs. Texas Tech? Yikes.

BAYLOR BY THE NUMBERS:
13 – The number of years it’s been since Baylor had a winning record

92 – Baylor's passing offense ranking in 2008…leading many to wonder just how the hell the Bears are supposed to "raise eyebrows" all over the league as many predict.

244 – Yards per game Robert Griffin averaged in 2008.

3,904 – The number of yards Robert Griffin needs to become BU’s all time leading passer; which is sad.


Coming up next….The Clones

5 comments:

  1. You are clueless about Baylor

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  2. Says the random anonymous poster.

    God I've missed you idiots.

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  3. Damn you... beating me to the Baylor analysis! Saving all the "good" teams for later eh? I have to agree with you, I won't believe Baylor can win more than 4 until I actually see them win 5 games... I get all the preseason love that Okie State is getting, but all the Baylor love is just... well... not making much sense. Are they a better team then last year at this time? Yes... Are they ready for a BOWL invite? No... No no no. As brilliantly as Griffin played... AT TIMES... last season, one guy is not going to win games in the B12. One guy with all league potential isn't going to beat a defense, (OU, Texas) with 7 or 8 guys with all league potential.

    Baylor goes bowlin in a year... or probably 2. But not 2009.

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  4. Well! If it isn't my ol' bud! Glad to see you're back! I see you brought you're cronies with you....Mizzou to win the North coming in at 51%?. Looking forward to it.

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  5. Baylor over Nebraska? Oh AJ, you are gonna make this season too fun.

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